[ D E C L I N E D ]

Declining myself from being me all these years was showing up in the real world.


BIG.


Yesterday was the second time in a five day period I stood at the register confused.


[ D E C L I N E D ]


The checkout lady walked over to ask if I was okay. {The ironic thing being I had just joked to her about my card never working properly at Home Depot. The chip doesn't like to read so it's the game of insert three times then swipe and go.}


That's all I needed to hear.

Que silent tears.

Que silent mental breakdown at the Home Depot self checkout.


I had way more than enough available credit left to cover this $60 purchase.

A purchase which I needed to properly and safely finish my projects for the BIG Holistic Health and Healing show coming up. {Where I am expecting to sell a lot of things!}


I had no other form of payment.

I had just shut down my debit card, which was the first time [ DECLINED ] showed up in huge letters on the register screen.

Back in my car I called the bank to see why. *Shout out to Dollar Bank for being on it's shit!*

My card had been used for a purchase that was unauthorized so they put a hold on it. {Still more magic of the gifts of declination other than protecting our account: The owner gifted the bath light cubes -thing I was trying to buy- to my son anyway.}

Okay. Back to silent crying me in the Home Depot. Where the exact same senerio was occurring again. {I'm telling you Dollar bank is on its shit. Not having my debit card, I started using the credit card I never use. I actually had left it at home on the above day. They put a hold on it because it there was more activity on it than usual.}


Miss Momma Linda - cashier - gracefully swept me to another register and opened it, rang it up and we tried again thinking maybe it was the self check out being wonky.


[D E C L I N E D ]


"I'll leave this register open for you if you'd like to figure out what's going on with your card Dear."


Awesome. I had my own personal "Money fixing Lab Station." I felt safe.

She had put me in a no pressure bubble. I could think / feel my way through this without having a giant messy collapse.

After an hour and being transferred to five bank helpers later - my card was reactivated.

Linda swept me up into a big hug.💞

Celebrating whole heartedly with me.

She had held and gave me the space to allow me to fix my shit right away.

She would periodically come over to check on me - if I was okay. How it was going. She never made me feel as if I was in the way or a problem.


This story might have turned out completely different if it wasn't for her.

This woman was like an angel.



What's the point of this long ass story Mary?


'Ironicly' I snapped this picture as I walked into Home Depot not realizing the incredible immediate significance it was about to hold for me <3 Holla At me Universe!

➡️#StoryBreakDown101⬅️



Through out the call I was asked multiple times to try my card to see if it worked. Cool things occurred here:


💲With each swipe and every Decline that showed up on the screen magic started to un-weave the word. It kept loosing the significance I was assigning to it. Until it only became just that. A word.

It didn't define me. And it definitely did not reflect what was in my bank account. *Insert pun on the decline of the word decline.*

[ What words have you assigned accepted standard societal meaning to that are false replications of YOUR truth? ]



💲It became a mirror. A word mirroring back to me my fears so I could reflect upon them and dismiss them with their inaccuracy of what life really is.

[ What is so scary to you / that thing that has many projected implications of fear have you been allowing yourself NOT to choose because of those probable projected outcomes? ]



💲This was the first time I was able to handle a "financial pickle" on my own. I had always been to anxious and upset to even begin to start fixing the problem. I always handed it over to Jason. Who handles the money and hits the submit button to pay them bills. Whoa! Hey there inner child me! What's that all about?

[What was it that was hiding in there making me think I was incapable of handling money? What are you ascribing to that is running the program of ' it is not easy to fix your financial situation? or that you are not able to fix your own problems?' What is allowing you to believe you are irresponsible with money? What delegation of money are you choosing to not choose? What kind of life are you refusing to see behind the anxiety of money? ]



💲 Throughout the course of being transferred all around I had the thought of, 'Well maybe this was not meant to be. Maybe I was not supposed to buy this stuff at Home Depot today. Maybe I was supposed to be focusing on something else for the day.' I even made a few footsteps towards the door to go when I realized that if I did leave I was giving up.

Defining it as some kind of universal sign was really me just hiding and giving me an excuse to give up.

By leaving I was allowing myself AND CHOOSING to hide my potential of what I can be -and what I could make -from me and the world.

[ What sneaky "beliefs" are you using to create a place for you to hide "safely" in? What belief pattern is safer and more comfortable than allowing yourself to stretch into being the biggest, best, messy, and fantastically fun version of you? ]



But it went even further than money.

I could have walked away from the day frustrated and used it as a pity party for the next time something like this would have occurred or even fuel to MAKE the rest of my day hell. { Enter your ''How come this is happening to me? This ALWAYS happens to me!' Expecting it to happen again. or the sarcastic, "I wonder what is going to happen next?" Just seeing it as a day of shit and everything snowballs from there...

Spoiler alert: that means it will... energy flows to where your attention goes. {Holla at science for that gem!} We all know and have probably been that person our self at some point in time. I know I have many many times.... ope.



Both events seemed to be structured by the universe - oooo.... or maybe my own higher self? ;) - solely to allow me to step out of feeling like a little girl and into a financial flow of anxiety-less freedom. {Insert whatever you are freeing yourself from here during your next frustration. It's kinda fun to actually declare this! What's that? It feels powerful? Like you kinda just took control of your life cause your an awesome creator? Hell to the Yeah!}

There was no actual money at stake. (And even if there was I knew I could generate more.)

Nothing was lost (not even the charge that was unauthorized).


I had been safe / supported the entire time, literally by everyone around me - Ms Linda setting up and supporting the space for me to calmly react, The store owner who gifted product to my son, The Bank for having my back twice in 5 days, and My husband who was excitedly surprised I was able to and took immediate action.


[ Pause. Look around. What is there that you are not seeing?

What are the "positive" energy flows happening?

And it might not be until after you leave the situation.

It might be later in the week. Go back. Hit rewind.

What other gems are there for you to gleam there to grow?

These are also moments for us to be grateful for.

Life truly is Art.

We create it.

We mold and shape it to be whatever we desire or do not desire. And that can be sneaky. Sometimes we have no idea what we are creating until something smashes us in the face where we have no choice but to deal with it... unless we choose to create more scenarios to create it again.


I invite you to stop.


Open up that scenario / event / fear / desire. What in there is the real genetic code of you? What has been mutated over time? What art are you hanging up in your temple that is not quite your style? Not your taste?

It's time to re-decorate your souls my dears. <3

And be relentless in the amount of redecorating you do throughout your life.

Do Not Allow Yourself To DECLINE.

It all starts with a question. A question opens up possibilities.

What will your inner decor be composed of?

I am so excited to see what you all paint the world with!]



With Joy & Gratitude,

Mary

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